Finding Strength in Christ

This year Ben is finally old enough to start getting and understanding the concept of Christmas, I have been really pondering it through the year of how we will try and teach him about the true meaning of Christmas but at the same time let him enjoy the wonder of Santa Claus. Searching through Pinterest I found a book called the Christ Book that breaks that story of the birth of our Savior into 17 days each day with a story a song or to and a picture. Ben loves it and has learned so much this year I hope to make it something we do each year so as our Boys grow they always remember the true reason of Christmas.
Also this year Jared and Rebecca sent us a wonderful gift a book of 25 stories of Christ and an ornament that goes along with each story. This has truly been a wonderful blessing as we read every night or watch a movie  about the teachings of our Savior.

Bear with me as this will be a long post, I need to write my feelings of this last week so Jackson will know how his first week on earth was for us and for him. And So I can come back and read this and know that the trials we went through though at the time seemed so huge were really so small and we have grown from them.

A few days before Jackson was born we read the story about Christ stilling the storm on the sea of Galilee.  President Howard W Hunter gave a talk and said;

All of us have seen some sudden storms in our lives. A few of them, though temporary like these on the Sea of Galilee, can be violent and frightening and potentially destructive. As individuals, as families, as communities, as nations, even as a church, we have had sudden squalls arise which have made us ask one way or another, “Master, carest thou not that we perish?” And one way or another we always hear in the stillness after the storm, “Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?”

None of us would like to think we have no faith, but I suppose the Lord’s gentle rebuke here is largely deserved. This great Jehovah, in whom we say we trust and whose name we have taken upon us, is he who said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.” (Gen. 1:6.) And he is also the one who said, “Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear.” (Gen. 1:9.) Furthermore, it was he who parted the Red Sea, allowing the Israelites to pass through on dry ground. (See Ex. 14:21–22.) Certainly it should be no surprise that he could command a few elements acting up on the Sea of Galilee. And our faith should remind us that he can calm the troubled waters of our lives.

 

Here is the full talk

 

 

These words stayed with me as the next 2 days progressed I felt uplifted and at peace knowing that together Kyle and I have mastered many storms in our lives and we could handle anything that came our way with faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

The last few month of this pregnancy were hard on me the Gestational Diabetes wasn't awful but it wasn't fun. Around 33 weeks I started to go into labor after trying to decide if the contractions were real or not I finally decided to go to the hospital I was having contractions but the Nurse said I wasn't dilating she said that tests showed that I wasn't getting enough food for my body and my baby and that cause my labor to start early. So after a shot to stop the contractions I was sent home and put to bed 3 days later I went to my Doctor and he decided to check and see if I had dilated I went from a 0 to a 3 in 3 days so we decided it would be best to do the steroid shots to help babies lungs develop faster incase he decided to come early. A week later I was having contractions again back to the hospital for another shot and the same happened a week later. We were lost as to why this was happening I was so frustrated that I didn't know what to do to stop these contractions. Me and Kyle decided to stop the diabetes diet and see if that would help lower my stress and help my body have the strength stop the contractions.  

After 2 days of not counting my carbs I felt great I was still taking my blood sugar numbers and they were for the most part normal I had energy and was feeling better then ever! Still having contractions every now and then I went to my doctors apt Monday having what I figured must have been back labor it was so strong and sure enough I was to a 4+ and after a day of walking around the back pain getting worse I was still a 4+ but I was in labor .....


My Doctor told me to go home and come back with Kyle that night and see if I was a 5 so I went home put Ben down for a nap cleaned the house finished packing the bags and called and cancelled all of Kyles calls for the next 24 hours I was hurting so bad I had to be to a 5 or so I thought.... We went to the hospital around 8 and the nurse checked me and said still 4+ I was so frustrated I was hurting having real contractions but I was just going to be sent home... My Dr. came in and we talked about what we should do since chances are if I went home my water would break on its own and I would have a 2 year old and no husband at home to get me to the doctor with Ben my water broke and within 20 mins I was pushing so chances would be that this little guy might come the same way and that would b risking me not getting to the hospital in time.  so we decided to just break my water.. he checked me again before we moved into our room and I was at a 5 so I was dilating on my own.... as soon as I moved to my room my body started really progressing and we were so grateful we weren't sent home they gave me my epidural before they broke my water and the hour it took to get that in and get all situated I was to a 7 they broke my water and we let things progress on there own for 20 minutes by this time it was midnight we were all tired so the nurse gave us an option to have Pitocin to make my contractions more consistent to speed it up... and by 2 in the morning we were ready to have a baby...
As Jackson was coming the Doctor asked me to spot pushing the cord was wrapped around his neck pretty bad and he was trying to get it loose... He ended up having to cut the cord in order to get it un wrapped and because of that Jackson breathed in a lot of fluid.... causing his lungs to be filled with fluid.. Jackson didn't cry he grunted and he breathing was more grunting as well... they called the NICU nurses in 3 times in the middle of the night and they said his oxygen  levels were fine and that they wouldn't need to admit him... at 5 in the morning our nurse came in and asked us to sleep while she took him for his bath... at 6 they came in and told me that he was taken to the NICU....
I was finally allowed to get up and shower I woke Kyle up and we went to go see Jackson, by then no one was able to give us any answers and we were so frustrated his oxygen levels never went down but he was still grunting and fighting for air. finally at 9 in the morning we were able to see Jack's doctor and he didn't tall us all that much...
The next 3 days were full of miscommunication and frustration... it seemed every night we left with hope and every morning something new would go wrong... some nurses were wonderful and others just felt like they didn't care that he was in there and we wanted him home... I went to the hospital every 3 hours to feed him but that was really the only time I was able to hold him Kyle pretty much never was able to hold him the first 3 days of life.
Then when we were finally discharged from the NICU we had another Challenge Jaundice... He was under lights for a whole week this last Friday we got the okay to send the lights back this was again so hard for Kyle who still never really was allowed to hold him since he had to be under lights except for feedings.

There was so much more that went on these  past 2 weeks many tears were shed and for Kyle I think a few more hairs were lost... we both had our share of break downs... between balancing our business taking care of Ben and going to the Doctor everyday plus trying to figure out how we were going to pay for a NICU visit there were days I felt how will we make it through this.... we have been so blessed to have our family and friends support we wouldn't have made it if we didn't have all the help... It has been such a humbling experience and while Jack is now a healthy newborn I look back and think was it all really that bad look how healthy he was compared to the other newborns there.
I am so grateful for the fact the whole month of December I focused on the life and teachings of Christ. I know that is how I held it together most days and I know that I we are truly a blessed family to have the gospel in our lives.
While these trials were hard we are grateful they gave us more strength! and we are SO grateful our little Jack is home healthy and safe!

Jackson Calvin VanderDoes

 

 

 

Tuesday December 11th, 2012  at 2:31 am

Jackson Calvin joined our little family

He was 6 Pounds 2 Ounces and 18.5 Inches long!

He has had quite a rough first week of life but he is taking after his Great Grandpa Jack and is being strong despite it all. Our heart our filled with love or our beautiful little boys.

Though this week has been filled with trials and many tears on my part we are so grateful he is here and in our arms.

 

 

 

 

Baby Jackson has SO many nicknames already here are just a few,

Baby Jack

Baby Calvin

One eyed Jack

Captain Jack

 

Bens nicknames for baby brother are:

Bear

Jackie

and our Favorite Baby Jesus (I guess that is what you get for talking about the true meaning of Christmas then bring home a little boy :) )

 

Ben's  first reaction to Jack was "what is that?" he is getting used to him being around and is handling it all really well.... He is really concerned about us taking Jack to the hospital or to the Doctor he normally will say "baby Jesus go to Doctor for temperature?"

 

As crazy as life has been this week we are so blessed to have each other and our friends and family we are so thankful for the prayers and help from all of you!

We love you all very much!

 



Another story about my GD

So yesterday was Sunday and Sundays that aren't fast Sundays I usually get up and make the boys a nice big breakfast and we enjoy our one morning we have a week together usually. Sometime we get Kyle Saturday Mornings but lately we don't due to our business being crazy busy. So I have been craving pancakes for the longest time and I got up did my carb counting research and found I can have 3 pancakes and still have room for 2 tablespoons of syrup and a mug of sugar free hot chocolate. So I make us some breakfast and love eating every bite although I can't eat 3 pancakes that's way to much food in the morning so I stuck with 2 still carbs were counted I thought life was great!
Fast forward 2 hours later I took my blood sugar number and it was a sky high 154! Yikes I have never let it get that high I recounted and counted again the carbs I ate and still couldn't figure out what the heck happened... So I decided to even it our for lunch I would just have some broccoli which still has carbs but They really count as 0 because well lots of reasons... Anyway so I ate my broccoli and headed out the door for church big day as we practiced for the primary program. I set up all the extra chairs we would need and helped Kids find the right seat and we started primary... Then I started sweating like crazy I got SO hot I though maybe its cause I am just fat pregnant and I just set up a room full of chairs and walked around the building trying to find our nursery leader and the magical keys to the toy cabinet. Then I went into the hallway to get some air and I just wasn't feeling right shaking and hot in my head I was trying to remember what happened when your blood sugar levels go high... But I honestly couldn't think.... So I started focusing on our program and reading through to see what kids were missing and what kids were there with no parts. My friend and member of the bishopric Paul came and asked how I was feeling and I told him I just felt strange he suggested I eat and sit down I told him about my high blood sugar number and he again suggested I eat and sit down and take my blood sugar again... I told him I would be fine I just needed to shake it off... So I went again to looking at my paper and my eyes started going fuzzy and then I started seeing black.... So I walked as best I could in to the primary room grabbed my cell phone and my blood sugar meter and went to an empty class room.  Sat down and I honestly felt like I stared at my blood meter for a long time trying to remember how the heck the thing worked but I figured it out and I know it wasn't that long it just felt like a long time... I looked at my number and it was 41! Holy cow I have never had that low of a number I am not supposed to be below 70 and below 60 is Hypoglycemic numbers and below 50 is just plain danger zone... It had even been an hour since I had the high 154 number. I quickly called Kyle who was at home with a supposed to be napping Ben and thankfully Ben never went to bed he was just pretending to be asleep and Kyle was just finished getting him dress. So Kyle was able to run up to the church with Apple and Orange in hand to help me get my number up. Paul came and walked by yet again when Kyle was helping cut the apple and peel the orange and suggested we get some fast sugar in me They had homemade rootbeer in the bishops office from a ward function the other night and he brought me a glass... after a cup of root beer an apple an orange and a sucker and about 15 mins of waiting I was able to walk and function like a human... the shaking stopped and I started to cool back down... I actually started to get way cold I was wearing Kyles suit coat the rest of the meetings. I took my blood sugar again an hour after to see if my numbers were better I still wasn't feeling quite right and I still was in the 60's  I talked Kyle into letting me stay to take the sacrament and then I went home had a Kit Kat and some nuts for protein and laid down 30 minutes I felt toatally fine...
All in all I thought I was doing so good with this GD thing I felt like a pro at counting carbs and eating well... and I still have No idea what happened yesterday... I honestly don't understand... I have my thoughts.. One being I slept in for the first time in over 2 months Normally I am up and have had breakfast by 7 or 730.... I didn't roll our of bed till 830 yesterday. And I didn't finish my breakfast till 9:30 so I skipped my snack all together. Anther thought is breakfast is supposed to be the hardest meal to keep my numbers down for many reasons. and as I get further along in this pregnancy my GD will get worse... My numbers are going to start climbing no matter what I do... what works for me one week will not the next... So we will see if this is the point where I just can't control my levels as well.. I hope not... 8 1/2 weeks to go I hope I still have some control!

Westover Fall Party

 Back before my Mom and Dad moved away we had a Halloween party every Halloween and it always involved root beer and chili. Since then my sister Darcy has kept the tradition but instead we have a fall party. last year we did not make root beer and Haley noticed so when My dad was out last she Begged him to come back and make root beer. Since My parents aren't coming back to Utah for another few months I promised her we would have a Halloween party and I will personally make her root beer the real kind that smokes and all :) As soon as we got there with the Big water Jug Haley's comment what Grandpa even gave you his root beer maker.She was thrilled to be making root beer I think we have done it

since she was like a year old. Now she is 8 and as the dry iced smoked and the boys were giggling Haley recited Macbeth (she is Darcy's child I tell you amazing brains!)  We had a great time dart throwing the boys played with trains and Haley the cat was chased buy all her cousins as she skated around on her awesome roller skates. We even went Squash bowling and Ben showed Korbin and Adam the way to bowl is just stand above the pins and throw the pumpkin as hard as you can. Adam tired hard to bowl the right way but eventually gave in and joined Korbin and Ben in the throwing of the pumpkin.

 Even the adults had fun as all the kids were inside decorating cookies the Dads could be found outside throwing darts at our bowling pins (squash) and as I came inside to help clean up I found Amy and Darcy Seeing how many Pixy Sitcks they could down before the kids found them.

We missed Mom and Dad but it was a great family get together!

Carb Counting

After finally seeing a dietitian I feel a lot better about this whole Gestational Diabetes thing. I must say i feel for those who have real Diabetes so props to Nana and my Dad (pre-diabetes) for poking your finger with our complaint. The biggest change I have had to make is my life is now one very structured eating schedule I wake up poke my finger eat breakfast wait 2 hours poke my finger eat a snack wait an hour or 2 eat lunch wait 2 hours poke my finger eat a snack wait an hour of 2 have dinner wait 2 hours and poke my finger. My life in a nut shell... My blood levels are all over the place because when i first learned about this I just did a lot of Internet research and found a meal plan stating 30 carbs per meal 15 carbs per snack... I was so shaky after 5 days of following this I thought my life was going to be awful for the next 2 and a half months.... then I found that I should be eating 45-60 carbs per meal.... that may not seem like a lot to you non carb counters but holy cow its like life or death. another big adjustment is protein I am having to add a ton of protein to my diet and I for some reason in the pregnancy and totally grossed out by the texture of Chicken so its very hard for me to eat chicken at times. I am also lacking in iron so red meat has become a must in our home. My snacks are normally and Apple with Peanut butter for protein or an orange and veggies and ranch dip . So that isn't bad at all. My portion sizes have adjusted a little not as much starch which drives me nuts since I love potatoes and I never knew how much I love bread and rolls until I don't eat them.
The worst part of all is pregnancy cravings I can't eat anything I crave... I have gone to 3 get together so far since finding out I have GD and all 3 times my numbers have been bad after its so hard knowing what is okay to eat and what isn't.
As for Kyle and Ben well they aren't having to deal with much of a life change Mommy doesn't make cookies cause its causes me to break down crying cause just one cookie can hurt the baby so I don't even chance it but some times its hard... so Kyle buys chips ahoy I can have 3 of those for one snack so I did and pretty much starved till it was time to have a real meal... I am in my third trimester now and I swear I am starving all the time not fun when you have time meals :(  Above is how Kyle eats vs how  I am allowed to eat.... That lettuce wrapped Burger is totally Carb free the meat is free and the lettuce is free Kyles Burger same thing but just the bun alone had 65 carbs! crazy! I get one bowl of sugar free ice cream and by bowl I mean a scoop and Kyle gets a massive kit kat milk shake. I get carrots and ranch dip he eats a whole thing of chips ahoy. I keep telling him me getting GD is going to give him the real Diabetes he has seriously become a sugar monster since we found out. oh well at least one of us is having whatever they want to eat.
Having GD isn't that bad i have my break down moments when  I just don't want to count another carb and poking my finger still freaks me out. But This little guys worth it and to be honest he has to come out some how and I would rather not push a  big baby out and I really am not wanting a c-section... My tummy has one to many scars on it I remember the liver tumor recovery never again do I want that in my belly.
So heres to hoping in 2 months I will have a healthy happy newborn in my arms ( yes I know I still have 2 months and 2 weeks left a girl can hope that he comes out 2 weeks early right?)

Big Boy bed

A few months ago we took down the crib and bought Ben a mattress we just laid it on the floor because I wasn't to sure he wouldn't roll off the bed and so we left it like that until now. I am sure he at least can stay on a bed so we had planned to have Kyle make the bed but Kyle has NO free time at all... None nada zip... So when conference weekend came the plan was to have Kyle spent the day building the bed... But we just wanted quality time as a family so we decided to go on a hunt to buy a bed... Kyle decided to just look for bunk beds since we will need them in 2 years anyway... so off we went and we picked out a really nice set however Ben had different plans he found this Bed and fell in love with the stairs! I fell in love with the storage! So it took about 20 minutes to talk Kyle into this set but its perfect for our house with no storage space we need a bed that can multi-task! and the best part its the dresser and bookshelf part pull out for a trundle bed so in 2 years we are set! ... As you can tell my little Dino loving boy loves his bed.

Baby Update!

This is going to be a boring post but I want to get some of what is going on in this pregnancy down so if you care go ahead and read if not then stop reading :)
I am now 28 weeks feeling huge and excited to be counting down the weeks. At 20 weeks my Doctor moved out of the state so all heck kind broke lose after that. 22 weeks had my target ultrasound and he is looking great and my liver is looking great. 24 weeks caught a cold couldn't go see my new Dr I had picked out. (the place I was going to doesn't allow sick patients) So I went to Yellowstone had the vein of death happen and waited a week to see thing new lady.  I know this lady is busy cause 4 weeks out the only time I could see her was at noon. Which is Ben's nap time generally, so finally get to go see the Dr. that so happens to be my glucose test day. Get my blood taken they say it will be 1 hour till I can see the Dr. Kyle goes back to work and I go pick up Ben since Kyle Mom could only watch him for and hour. Go back to the Doctor wait another hour (at this point I was in tears I had been fasting I was starving Ben was SO grumpy due to no nap) so finally 2 hours late I get to see the Doctor. I loved her she was nice took her time with me and explained everything... only bad part was my vein leg meant I needed to lay down 3 hours a day with my feet up HA yeah right I have the most active 2 year old ever and we run our own company.... Anyway people In my ward (which I love) took Ben the next day while I obeyed orders... While they were gone I got a phone call saying I failed the glucose test. I just bawled I had to do the whole thing over only fasting for 12 hours this time and drinking 2 times the amount of sugar I have never been one to do good with Sugar in my system and only sugar and fasting and me really don't get along I get very ill when I fast. And I had just bought everything I needed to make caramel apples and that is just what set me off I wanted those dang caramel apples. So a week later after crying a lot I went in and took the 3 hour test. Thinking there is no way I will fail this I am normally skinny I eat good I love my fruits and Veggies I could eat more protein but I am a good eater. I called in the next day and got the results that I do indeed have Gestational Diabetes. I didn't cry I was over the crying thing I just wanted to know how I could fix it monitor it what ever you want to call it... Well since my Dr is so busy she could review my results so all they told me was no sugar.... I knew that it was much more complex then that so I got even more frustrated.... I called Kyle and we decided to leave the doctors office we were going to... Everyone there is way busy and I wanted someone who had time to review my chart if there was something wrong. So we made the choice to go back to the Ogden Clinic and see the new Doctor there... His office is in the hospital I will be delivering at and he is still building his practice so he has more time then the other place. We went and saw him on Monday and I felt so much better no more huge wait times and the staff took time to get to know me it was great! I felt like a real person and not just another fat pregnant lady. I got my blood sugar meter and have been tracking my blood sugar levels for 2 days now... I met with a dietician today and am feeling like I am going to make it through the rest of this pregnancy with no issues at all... I will post a GD update when I have more time but for now me and Baby are doing just fine which if you were to ask me that 2 weeks ago I would have said I we weren't with all the stress and worry and how I have been feeling I seriously thought I wouldn't make it through to the end with out a break down a day. Here to hoping the next 12 weeks go better!